Puppet History / Characters – TV Tropes

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The Main Cast

The Professor

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The Guests

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The Musical Guests

death

Death

Appears In: Life During The Black Death Pandemic, The Great Molasses Flood, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/death_42.png Tell ya what I think, it certain is fun/To have people die/You should see how friggin ‘ amusing you look/When the lights go out of your eyes !The Grim Reaper himself, performing his song “Plague Days (Y.O.D.O.)”.

  • Affably Evil: He’s genuinely nice; it’s just he’s you know, Death.
  • Dem Bones: Downplayed, since the black bits are implied to also be part of his body, but his skeleton is front and center.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: He honestly found everything about the Black Plague, from the catastrophic casualties to the fact that pigs were eating corpses, “a hoot”.
  • Nothing Personal: Despite his cheerful nostalgia for one of the worst pandemics in history, he makes it clear in his song that he didn’t have any malice in his actions.
  • Punch-Clock Villain: Reaping the dead is ultimately just a job to him and the Bubonic Plague netted him one hell of an overtime check.
  • Surprise Creepy: When he gets to the point in his song where he talks about how funny people look when they die, his eyes start glowing, everything becomes high contrast and the song slows down dramatically. It snaps back soon after.
    • His cameo in The Great Molasses Flood counts, as he zips by right before the titular event kills the original musical guest.

The Grim Reaper himself, performing his birdcall “ Plague Days ( Y.O.D.O. ) ”. The Pile of Diamonds

The Pile of Diamonds

Appears In: Stealing The World’s Most Expensive Necklace, The Dancing Plague, The Story of St. Nicholas, The Great Emu War, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hey_everyone.png Hey everyone !The pile of diamonds pried from the 2,000,000 livre Diamond Necklace that was at the center of the Affair of the Diamond Necklace, singing his song “Pricy Ice”. He returns in

  • Catchphrase: By his own admission, “It’s me, that big pile of diamonds!”
  • Cold Ham: He never raises his voice much, but he devours the set like a champion.
  • Conspicuous Consumption: His suggestion to the Professor for what to give as a gift and his gift-giving philosophy in general is go expensive.
  • Cool Uncle: His song notes that he has nieces who were devastated when he was pilfered from the necklace.
  • History with Celebrity: He’s apparently pals with Drake, who he knows through his anklet sister-in-law.
  • Porn Stache: He sports a rather prominent one to compliment his lounge singer persona.
  • Warning Song: Pricy Ice, while touching on the singer himself, is also a cautionary song about getting catfished in the worst way.
  • Who’s Laughing Now?: He’s not particularly fond of Marie Antoinette for not wanting him and calling him ugly, so he snidely remarks in his song that he’s not the one who got their head chopped off.

The pile of diamonds pried from the 2,000,000 livre Diamond Necklace that was at the center of the Affair of the Diamond Necklace, singing his song “ Pricy Ice ”. He returns in “ The Story of St. Nicholas ”, singing “ Love on a ledge ”. The Propeller

The Propeller

Appears In: Surviving The Titanic: History’s Luckiest Woman, The Terrifying Eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/propeller.png well I ’ m a propeller, I ain ’ metric ton a crimson chap !The Propeller of the HMS Britannic that was accidentally involved in turning a good deal of the people trying to escape its sinking into human flotsam. His song is “Propeller’s Lament”.

  • Blood-Splattered Innocents: His song alludes to the fact that he was used as an accidental giant blender for people and experiences a PTSD flashback mid song about the experience.
    Propeller: HOW’D THIS BLOOD GET ALL OVER ME?!
  • Catchphrase: “Well I’m a Propeller, an awful X feller!”
  • Mental Health Recovery Arc: Downplayed as he’s only appeared twice, but the second time the Propeller shows up, his mental state has improved vastly due to channeling his creative talents and taking filmmaking courses on Skillshare.
  • Shell-Shocked Veteran: He’s very clearly traumatized by and horrified at his accidental mulching of the Britannic’s passengers, exhibiting symptoms of PTSD and resentment for the war even happening.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Commodore Charles “Iceberg Charlie” Bartlett, for putting him through the nightmare he went though.

The Propeller of the HMS Britannic that was incidentally involved in turning a estimable deal of the people trying to escape its sinking into human flotsam. His sung is “ Propeller ‘s deplore ”. God

God

Appears In: The Dancing Plague, The Great Molasses Flood, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/god_8.png I ‘m God, o ?The capital “G” God of the Abrahamic religions, singing “Didn’t Make ’em Dance”. He besides shows up at the end of season 3 to sing “ Clip Clop Into The Light ” with The horse to ease him into the afterlife .

  • Cannot Tell a Lie: Or Cannot Sustain a Lie, because he gives up and admits that he did cause the Dancing Plague halfway through his song.
  • Eldritch Abomination: Downplayed. He’s bizarre to look at, but not mind-shattering.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He pulled the plug on the Dancing Plague after people actually started dying from it. He besides takes time out of his day to comfort the person of the horses who died in the Great Molasses Flood and considers being bigoted a cause for damning a soul .
  • Glad I Thought of It: He takes credit for basically everything that’s ever been during his song except the Dancing Plague, at least until he can’t keep up the lie any longer.
  • Informed Attractiveness: At least the Pile of Diamonds finds him attractive.
  • Jerkass Gods: He created the Dancing Plague for a chuckle and before that tormented the people of Strasbourg for years by devastating their crops. He besides caused The Great Molasses Flood, presumably equitable because he could .
  • Never My Fault: He spends half of his song denying any fault in the Dancing Plague.
  • Pet the Dog: He keeps the puppets in a sort of purgatory until he and the Devil can figure out what to do about the whole situation, but he lets them do any they like in the interim, even giving them resources to make their own shows and admitting to truly liking at least one of them. arsenic army for the liberation of rwanda as purgatories go, that ‘s not indeed bad .

The capital “ G ” God of the Abrahamic religions, singing “ Did n’t Make ’em Dance ”. ad : The aim

The Train

Appears In: How America’s First Female Detective Saved Abe Lincoln, José Rizal: The Philippines’ Reluctant Revolutionary, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_train.png All abooooooard !The train that was supposed to transport Abe Lincoln to Baltimore, at least until the secessionists tried to assassinate him. His song is “Chugga Chugga Boo Hoo”.

  • Broken Tears: He breaks down crying over losing his one shot at a more exciting day in his life and gives up singing at the end of his song.
  • The Bus Came Back: He returns to do the Puppet Pop-In for Mansa Musa: The Richest Man Who Ever Lived.
  • The Eeyore: His job is so monotonous and boring that he’s perpetually down.
  • Hope Spot: The one time he got an exciting assignment, it got ruined by a secessionist assassination plot.
  • Patriotic Fervor: He’s enough of a patriot that the idea of hauling Abraham Lincoln to Baltimore was genuinely exciting for him.

The prepare that was supposed to transport Abe Lincoln to Baltimore, at least until the secessionists tried to assassinate him. His song is “ Chugga Chugga Boo Hoo ”. Mt. Vesuvius

Mt. Vesuvius

Appears In: The Terrifying Eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/mt_vesuvius.pngPompeii, a beautiful day!

  • Apologetic Attacker: He accidentally destroyed a lot of the Italian countryside when he erupted, but he makes it clear in his song he’s really sorry about it.
  • Bread and Circuses: He tries to keep the song going even as it becomes very clear to him his eruption has annihilated Pompeii.
  • Nothing Personal: He begs the people of Pompeii to believe that there’s nothing personal about their destruction and it’s all on accident.
  • Potty Emergency: The Pompeii Circumstance is framed as a bowel movement gone horribly wrong, and Vesuvius himself admits that it could’ve been prevented with a lot of antacids.

Mt. Vesuvius himself, having a act of a “ motion ”. His song is “ I Spew Goo ”. Goose Mummy

Goose Mummy

Appears In: Hatshepsut: The Forgotten Pharaoh, The Story of St. Nicholas, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/goose_44.png Hat-shep-sut !One of the mummified geese buried in Hatshepsut’s tomb who has quite a lot to say about the forgotten Pharaoh. Their song is “Hatshepsut”. They return in

  • Ambiguous Gender: Ryan refers to them by female pronouns at one point, but they never confirm or deny if they’re a guy or a girl.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: When they show up to offer a song with advice to The Professor on what to get St. Nick, they’re up against the Pile of Diamonds’ Conspicuous Consumption and the Oars’ sentimentality. What do they offer as a suggestion? Mummified Goose!
  • Due to the Dead: Hatshepsut is all about this, imploring viewers to spare a thought to Hatshepsut so she can have her proper afterlife.
  • Mummy: Clearly, but somewhat unique in being an animal instead of a person.
  • Undying Loyalty: Quite literally since they’re undead, but their loyalty to Hatshepsut shines through in their song.

One of the mummify goose buried in Hatshepsut ‘s grave who has quite a lot to say about the forget Pharaoh. Their sung is “ Hatshepsut ”. They return in “ The Story of St. Nicholas ”, singing “ Mummified Goose ”. The Olympic Torch

The Olympic Torch

Appears In: The Disastrous 1904 Olympic Marathon, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_olympic_torch.png YOU ‘D BETTER GET THAT FUCKING GOLDThe famous torch that carries the Olympic Flame to the Olympics. His song is “Choke For The Gold!”

  • Ax-Crazy: He demands that Olympic athletes break their bodies and sell their souls to win and frames the nightmarish happenings of the 1904 Olympic Marathon as just how far athletes are willing to go to bring home the gold.
  • Competition Freak: He’s pretty damn intense about the Olympics, with his hypothetical lengths for athletes to go to varying from dangerous to outright suicidal.
  • Large Ham: He’s the hammiest musical guest in the show so far.
  • Man on Fire: As it turns out, being a living torch does not mean he doesn’t feel the pain of being on fire. He takes a break mid song to curse whatever being gave him sentience. According to him, sleep is the only respite he gets.
  • Patriotic Fervor: He encourages athletes to act this way, saying that they’d be a national disgrace if they don’t win.
  • Precision F-Strike: He’s the first musical guest to outright drop “fuck” in their song.
    Torch: Would you scoop out both your eyes/just to win that fucking prize ?

The celebrated blowtorch that carries the Olympic Flame to the Olympics. His song is “ Choke For The aureate ! ” The Coin

The Coin

Appears In: Isaac Newton’s Nemesis, Mansa Musa: The Richest Man Who Ever Lived, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_coin.png Every day/Bit by bite, whittle me down/Little pieces of me/All over this townAn old hand-struck silver coin with a talent for the blues, feeling down due to losing pieces of himself to forgery scammers. His song is “Pieces Of Me”.

  • Body Horror: It’s not drawn much attention to, but pieces of him have been clipped off to be melted down and made into fake coins by scammers.
  • The Bus Came Back: He returns to do the Puppet Pop-In for Mansa Musa: The Richest Man Who Ever Lived.
  • The Eeyore: He’s lost pieces of himself to forgery schemes and he’s really down about it.
  • Shout-Out: His appearance and vocal style are seemingly an homage to Randy Newman.
  • Tragic Dream: Of the “achievable but inadvisable” variety. He’s lost so many pieces of himself he hopes one day he’ll be nothing but silver dust that can float up above the clouds before settling down to truly be “all over this town”.
  • invokedThe Woobie: It’s really hard to not feel for the poor guy after you hear about everything he’s been through. In Season 3, it ’ sulfur revealed that he ’ mho dating a human chiropodist and is truly felicitous, so things are looking up .

An erstwhile hand-struck silver coin with a talent for the blues, feeling down due to losing pieces of himself to forgery scammers. His birdcall is “ Pieces Of Me ”. The Oars Policarpa ‘s spool

Policarpa’s Spool

Appears In: Policarpa: The Revolutionary Teen Spy, The Bloody Revenge of Saint Olga of Kiev, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/eat_the_rich.png denounce on the rich !The spool Policarpa used while undercover as a seamstress. His song is “Snitch on the Rich”.

  • The Bus Came Back: He returns to do the ad read for “The Bloody Revenge of Saint Olga of Kiev”.
  • Eat the Rich: It’s not clear if he means it figuratively or literally, but he alludes to the term multiple times in his song.
  • La Résistance: He not only approves of the idea, but encourages it.
  • invokedParanoia Fuel: He encourages invoking this on the upper class by spying on them.
  • Torches and Pitchforks: He alludes to this as being the end result of people having had enough.

The spool Policarpa used while clandestine as a dressmaker. His song is “ Snitch on the Rich ”. The Snowman

The Snowman

Appears In: The Grisly Journey of The Donner Party, The Bloody Revenge of Saint Olga of Kiev, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_snowman.png ( unpleasant bone sounds )A snowman that was made on the shores of Donner Lake, with everything that implies. His song is “Snow Bones About It”.

  • Body Horror: He’s full of bones and viscera from the dead members of the Donner party, though the only parts you can see are the bones that make up his arms as well as his eyes and teeth.
  • The Bus Came Back: He presents the question in the Puppet Pop-In for “The Bloody Revenge of Saint Olga of Kiev”.
  • Creepy Good: He’s a genuinely nice guy, it’s just what he’s full of is horrifying.
  • Dissonant Serenity: He switches from talking about veggie-trays to the Horse ‘being condemned to Hell ‘ with no change in inflection.
  • Humanoid Abomination: He’s a snowman full of gore and bones and his mouth is not where it should be.
  • Lyrical Dissonance: His song’s a cheerful song about being a snowman. Oh and also the fact that he’s full of gore.
  • Mix-and-Match Man: An extension of him containing an indiscriminate mélange of various people’s remains.
  • Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: He’s completely unaware of how heinous his existence is since he has no idea where the guts and bones he’s full of came from. According to his song, he sure thinks they’re magical, though!
  • Voice of the Legion: His voice gets a reverb effect when he calls for the audience to “chatter with me!”

A snowman that was made on the shores of Donner Lake, with everything that implies. His birdcall is “ Snow Bones About It ”.

The Beast of Gévaudan

The Beast of Gévaudan

Appears In: The Beast of Gevaudan, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_beast_3.png french HEADS !The infamous wolf that (

  • Ambiguous Situation: It’s not clear in real life if the Beast was actually a wolf, multiple wolves or some other creature like a lion or a hyena. The idea is even floated in-episode that it might have been a Serial Killer using lack of oversight and the idea of beast attacks as a cover.
  • French Jerk: He sings with a slight French accent and revels in killing and eating his victims, something he shows no regret for.
  • I’m a Humanitarian: Not only is he openly fond of eating people, he sings about it in a way that makes him sound like a foodie.
  • I Am What I Am: His song makes it clear that he’s aware he’s a murderous, people-eating beast… and he doesn’t care.
    Beast: Go on and shame me/Ah, but you made me/it ‘s what ya get/when you ‘re hangin ‘ with a wolf/in the quiet low vallys/of the ecotone
  • Lyrical Dissonance: “French Heads” is an energetic 70s/80s Euro-Ska song in the style of bands like Madness, with a touch of Talking Heads thrown in with the vocal style… about killing and eating terrified French youths.

The ill-famed beast that ( allegedly ) terrorized the french countryside for roughly over three years in the 1760s, slaughtering dozens in the fields. His song is “ french Heads ”. The Golden stool

The Golden Stool

Appears In: The War of the Golden Stool, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/golden_stool.png A STOOL OF GOLDThe sacred Golden Stool of the Ashanti people, passed down from ruler to ruler. His song is, unsurprisingly, “A Stool of Gold”.

  • Eye Beams: During the trippier parts of his song, he shoots a laser light display out of his eyes.
  • Gold-Colored Superiority: As the most important relic of the Ashanti people’s culture, hell yes.
  • Large Ham: He devours the scenery during his song, despite only having one lyric.
  • Limited Lyrics Song: His song literally only has one lyric “A stool of gold” sang with different stresses on the words and different lengths. The trippy visuals and the delivery make it avoid Stylistic Suck like The Professor and Santa’s song.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: His song is literally just about him being a golden stool with supposed supernatural powers. He makes it work.

The sacred Golden Stool of the Ashanti people, passed down from rule to ruler. His song is, unsurprisingly, “ A Stool of Gold ”. Ziryab ‘s Oud

Ziryab’s Oud

Appears In: Ziryab: The World’s First Rock Star, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/oud.png It ‘s a full birdcall .The

  • Disco Dan: The furthest he’s advanced his music past the 9th century is to the time of The Beatles. He also hasn’t updated his songwriting style at all.
  • Intoxication Ensues: How he wrote his song, getting drunk and getting a woman to memorize what he saw in his dream, much like his owner Ziryab.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: He’s convinced that his song is the greatest song that anyone’s ever heard, clearly unaware that music has advanced since Ziryab’s time.
  • Shout-Out: His personality and voice are meant to invoke The Beatles.
  • invoked True Art Is Incomprehensible: Absolutely nothing about his song’s story makes sense, given it’s a retelling of an acid trip of an intoxicated dream. He’s also convinced it’s high art.

The Oud of Ziryab, potentially history ‘s first “ rock headliner ”. much like his owner, his method of writing his song “ Elroy Squirt III ” is … questionable. The Bye Bye Brothers

The Bye Bye Brothers

Appears In: The Affair of the Poisons, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/poison_4.png We ‘re the Bye Bye Brothers and we came to say, If anybody asks you did n’t see us here today !A pair of murderous bottles of poison and perhaps the least moral musical guests ever on the show. Whether the Professor wants them there or not, they preform their song “Bye Bye Juice”.

  • Arms Dealers: A combination of this and Professional Killers. They advertise their services providing poisons to kill their client’s enemies, but since they’re also living poison vials they’re also technically hitmen too.
  • Ax-Crazy: They gleefully encourage cold-blooded murder.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: And how… if your dentist is advising you to cut back on sugary treats, assassinate him for criticizing you!
  • The Most Wanted: Their rap makes it very clear that the police are actively looking for them given their murderous nature, with multiple warrants out on them.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: Their suggestion on how to handle anything from serious problems to petty grudges? “POISON THEIR ASS!”
  • Poisonous Person: By nature of being living flasks of poison.
  • Rattling Off Legal: In the middle of their song a disclaimer zooms by to make it very clear the Puppet History theater does not approve of their message.
  • Shout-Out: Their lyrical style of Call-and-Respond rap evokes the Beastie Boys.

A match of homicidal bottles of poison and possibly the least moral musical guests ever on the display. Whether the Professor wants them there or not, they preform their birdcall “ Bye Bye Juice ”. The Boat

The Boat

Appears In: Ching Shih: The Pirate Queen, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_boat.png She ‘s got tantalum be what she ‘s got tantalum be .The Flower Boat that Ching Shih worked on before she was abducted by Cheng I to be his wife, singing a song titled “Ching Shih”.

  • Big Fun: By virtue of being a decent sized floating bar. His song on the other hand shows that he’s hurting inside over missing Ching Shih.
  • City Slicker: By his own admission, he’s only good for “city livin'” and wouldn’t be able to make it in a life of piracy.
  • I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: He clearly has some wistful memories of Ching Shih, but understands that in the end a life of piracy was the one for her.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: He’s covered in flowers and sings an emotional power ballad.

The Flower Boat that Ching Shih worked on before she was abducted by Cheng I to be his wife, singing a sung titled “ Ching Shih ”. The horse pale yellow

Wheat

Appears In: The Great Emu War, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/wheat_5.png Ai n’t I sweet ?A piece of hilariously twee wheat from an Australian field, singing Six Feet Down Under. The first thirty seconds at least .

  • Eaten Alive: The Emu eats him alive less than a moment into the birdcall and takes over .
  • Stylistic Suck: His lyrics are uninspired and cutesy, focusing more on the “awww” factor than anything else. largely because he ‘s a Bait-and-Switch for the real singer .

A patch of hilariously dainty wheat from an australian battlefield, singing Six Feet Down Under. The Emu

The Emu

Appears In: The Great Emu War, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/emu_8.pngBoys! We got a live one ‘ere!

  • Big Eater: The entire cause of the “Emu War” was he and a horde of other emus finding the Australian farmer’s wheat to be a feast they couldn’t possibly pass up.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: He refuses to back down from his feast of wheat, even under threat of death.
  • Bring It: Part of Six Feet Down Under involves him daring humans to kill him and his fellow emus before boasting that it still won’t stop them from eating their fill.
  • Patriotic Fervor: His song turns Wheat’s cutesy song into a bombastic war propaganda song.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Wheat, much like every other Emu from the “Emu War”.
  • Worthless Yellow Rocks: He doesn’t understand the importance of the wheat he was eating with his fellow emus to the farmers they stole it from.

An australian Emu who ‘s the actual singer of Six Feet Down Under. A fraction of Mansa Musa ‘s Fortune

A Fraction of Mansa Musa’s Fortune

Appears In: Mansa Musa: The Richest Man Who Ever Lived, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/image_2022_11_04_174030673.pngIt’s good advice!

  • Brutal Honesty: He admits flat out at the beginning of his song that he lacks a brain and his advice might not exactly be reliable.
  • Money Dumb: He has no idea how money works and so promotes unhealthy grind mindsets and never being content with what you have.
  • Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense: The entire point of his song is about how it’s easy to overcome sorrow in life as long as you’re the richest man in the world. He actually has no idea how to do that, just that you should.

One of the many, many chests of gold that Mansa Musa owned over his life. His song is ( barely Be ) The Richest valet In The World. Scabs nitrogen ‘ Pus

Scabs n’ Pus

Appears In: America vs. Smallpox: How Vaccines Saved The Nation, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/image_2022_11_04_174914443.png Scabs newton ‘ pus !A living glob of pus and his buddy, Scabs in a Walnut. They sing You Got The Pox!

  • Brutal Honesty: Nice guys they may be, but they’re not exactly mincing words with the subject of their song about how fucked they are statistically.
  • Creepy Good: They’re again, a living glob of pus and a walnut filled with scabs that have formed into a gory skull. They’re also dead-set on trying to help people with Smallpox make it through.
  • Nice Guys: They’re genuinely helpful and polite, just also disgusting.

A live ball of plutonium and his buddy, Scabs in a Walnut. They sing You Got The pox ! book

Book

Appears In: José Rizal: The Philippines’ Reluctant Revolutionary, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/image_2022_11_04_175528486.png You ‘ll never grooow … Just knowin ‘ whatcha already know .One of the many, many books penned by José Rizal, singing Read, Please!

  • Bookworm: His song is encouraging the listener to go become one to expand their knowledge and grow.
  • Tranquil Fury: By the end of his song, it’s pretty clear he’s steamed about how his author met his undeserved end.
  • The World Is Just Awesome: He very much enjoys learning the little facts about the world and encourages the audience to go out and learn more about it through reading.

One of the many, many books penned by José Rizal, singing Read, Please ! Birch Trees

Two Birch Trees

Appears In: The Bloody Revenge of Saint Olga of Kiev, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/image_2022_11_04_180209780.png She ‘ll catch you when you ‘re unaware/Pour acid down your underwear/And laugh because she ‘s Joker-fied that way !The twin birch trees that Olga of Kiev’s husband Igor was split in half with. They sing OLGA! as a cautionary tale about how that was

  • Bloody Hilarious: Igor’s remains are still strung up between them, but because his bisected body is represented with a pipe cleaner puppet it looks goofy rather than horrifying.
  • Karma Houdini: By their own admission, given how everyone and everything involved in Igor’s death met a brutal end by Olga’s revenge the trees are amazed that she never chopped them down.
  • To the Pain: A good chunk of the song is them listing off various horrible things Olga could do to the listener should they cross her.
  • Villain Song: Of the “sung by someone else” variant. Their entire song is a fearful tale of Olga’s brutal, bloody revenge for her husband’s death, cautioning the listener to never cross her.

The gemini birch trees that Olga of Kiev ‘s conserve Igor was split in half with. They sing OLGA ! as a admonitory narrative about how that was a act of a bad theme. Asmodeus

Other Characters

Santa Claus

Santa Claus

Appears In: The Story of St. Nicholas, The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/st_nick.png Season ‘s greetings child !The Patron Saint of Children himself, Saint Nicholas. The Professor booked him for the show, but he’s not quite in the best of moods…

  • Ax-Crazy: He implied that he killed the butcher who murdered and pickled the children he resurrected in one of the stories of the miracles he performed and a slip of the clapper has him imply he killed them in the first place .
  • Composite Character: Of a sort. He’s the remains of a Saint who may or may not have existed filling the role of the folklore figure he inspired.
  • Dem Bones: He’s quite literally a pile of Saint Nicholas’ bones with a beard and Santa hat.
  • The Grinch: He refuses to sing at first because he’s understandably upset at being a pile of decomposing bones. After the Professor sings to him, he shifts his tone and acknowledges he was being this, even name dropping the Trope Namer
  • invokedMagnum Opus Dissonance: St. Nicholas was revered for a good many miracles, acts of charity and goodwill to his fellow man, but all he very wants to talk about once he starts sing is how he resurrected three boys that a harebrained butcher had killed and pickled .
  • Necromancer: Even if by holy miracle, he did resurrect three boys who had been long dead and, based on their appearance during his guest appearance, they Came Back Wrong. He goes so far as to muse that maybe he shouldn’t have tampered with the realm of death.
  • Piss-Take Rap: once he actually starts sing, it turns out he ‘s even worse than The Professor despite being the highest-profile guest the usher ‘s ever had. His song brings up the things everyone knows about Christmas and Santa in the first match sentences before shifting into nothing but praising himself for saving “ the pickle boy ”. It even has the ill-famed “ My name is X and I ‘m here to say ” line .

The Patron Saint of Children himself, Saint Nicholas. The Professor booked him for the show, but he ‘s not quite in the best of moods … The Devil The Genie

The Genie

Appears In: The Grisly Journey of The Donner Party, The Great Molasses Flood, The Demonic Possessions of Loudun

Played By: Shane Madej

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_genie.png Ho hooooo ! ~A genie who The Professor met and made a wish to prior to the series starting. He’s a prick.

  • The Bad Guy Wins: He manages to deal with The Professor in the season 4 finale by using Asmodeus to make him take his wishes back and send him to the cretaceous period, angstrom well as turning all the puppets back into ordinary animals and objects

  • Be Careful What You Wish For: The Professor word-for-word states this is the end result of getting a wish from him, due to him being a prick.
  • Been There, Shaped History: As part of chasing the Professor through time. In particular, apparently used his magic to effortlessly clean up the damage from the Boston Molasses Flood of 1919 in exhange for the citizens of Boston handing over the Professor, though he narrowly escaped.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: He makes several vocal appearances throughout the second season before making a physical appearance in a flashback during the finale.
  • Evil Debt Collector: According to The Professor’s rants, apparently The Genie insists that The Professor “owes him” and intends to collect. Downplayed in that The Professor allegedly already paid the debt off, The Genie’s just being a dick.
  • Hero Antagonist: Possibly. The season 3 finale seems to indicate that the reason he’s going after the professor is to stop his time traveling as it causes creatures and objects to turn to puppets.
  • Jackass Genie: He granted The Professor’s wish for an item to allow him to time-travel, but apparently that wish caused him to be a total prick about it. As of the season 3 finale, this may actually be subverted. He seems to just be upset by the Professor screwing up history and turning people into puppets.
    • Swung back approximately in the temper 4 stopping point, where he orchestrates a design to get Ryan to weaken the Professor allowing Asmodeus to possess him. The twist is that he neglected to tell Ryan function of the plan was murdering the Professor .
  • invokedParanoia Fuel: Any mention of him is often accompanied by smug spectral laughter, implying he’s watching.
  • Sealed Evil in a Can: Twice! His lamp was stashed in a cave so small that only a puppet-creature like The Professor could reach it, not because he’s particularly dangerous but because he’s just a total jackass.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: The Professor hates him, and as shown by his scene in the Season 3 finale, it’s very mutual.

A genie who The Professor meet and made a wish to prior to the series start. He ‘s a prick .

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